SMART ASS ANSWER #6 — It was mealtime during a flight on
Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight
attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my
choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 — A flight attendant was stationed at
the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached,
she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, " Sir, I need to see your ticket,
not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4 — A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find
one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma’am, they’re dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3 — The cop got out of his car and the
kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2 — A truck driver was driving along on
the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge
Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out
of his car
and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I
was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 — A college teacher
reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. "Now class, I
won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in
the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would
you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes h er head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you’d
have to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART A*SE ANSWERS 2008

The last one is a worthy winner.

6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.

‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The assistant replied, ‘ I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said.

The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab

And said to the driver,

‘Got stuck, eh?’

The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART AR*ED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-ar*ed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s*xual exhaustion?’

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand’.

TOP ANSWERS OF THE YEAR

7TH PLACE An Irish man was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London
to Melbourne Australia .
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for
a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Irish man if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than
let liquor touch my lips." At which point the Aussie handed his drink back
to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn’t know we had a choice."

6TH PLACE. It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated
in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she
replied.

5TH PLACE A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid
she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

4TH PLACE A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?’"
The assistant replied, "I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

3RD PLACE A policeman got out of his patrol car. The boy racer he stopped
for speeding rolled down his car window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day,"the policeman said. The boy replied,
"Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the boy on his way
without a ticket.

2ND PLACE A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came
up that read ‘Low Bridge Ahead.’ Before
he realized it, he went under the bridge and the lorry got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally,a police car arrives. The policeman got out of his car and walked
to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, "Got
stuck, eh?" The lorry driver replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of petrol!"> >>>>

ANSWER OF THE YEAR A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils
of tomorrow’s final exam. "Now listen
to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever".
A smart-arsed jock at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,’What
would happen if I came in
tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion? "The entire
class was reduced to laughter and
sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
student, shook her head and said sweetly,
"Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."
Firstly puppy it is not a quetion DUH!!! its answers…Secondly ,Gavin why bother to answer if it was boaring last week.. ENJOY THE POINTS…

The last one is a worthy winner.

6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.

‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but sh
e

couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said.

The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab

And said to the driver,

‘Got stuck, eh?’

The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART AR*ED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand’.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 6

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The assistant replied,
"I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day, the policeman said.
The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.
"When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?
"The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John,
seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I
was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final
exam. "Now class,
I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other
excuses
whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised
his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is
reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.’What are my choices?’ the man asked.’Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.Without blinking an eyelid she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said. The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ‘Low Bridge Ahead.’ Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it…Cars are backed up for miles…Finally, a police car comes up…The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, ‘Got stuck, he?’The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s
final exam.’Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury,illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other
excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?’ The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her headand sweetly said, ‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your
other hand!’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.
The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 2
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

SMART ARSED ANSWER 1
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam. "Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Top 6 Smartass Answers

SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?"

the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no,"

she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a

man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed

her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she

couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any

bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

down his window. "I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got

here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket.

SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck

under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his

car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck

driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final

exam. "Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it,

no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles

knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you’d have to write the

exam with your other hand

6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

"What are my choices?" the man asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

——————————————————————————–

5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

——————————————————————————–

4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The assistant replied, " I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

——————————————————————————–

3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.

The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

——————————————————————————–

2nd Place

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead."

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab

And said to the driver,

"Got stuck, he?"

The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

——————————————————————————–

SMART @RSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

"Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-@rsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

"Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand".