Learn the 5 deadly sins that could destroy your accident claim. Gerry Oginski, a New York Medical Malpractice and Personal Injury Lawyer explains. For more information go to www.oginski-law.com or call Gerry personally at 516-487-8207.

I am 25, I reached management level in retail several times and was let go once I got there due to redundancy in all cases.

I am not Uni educated, though I have some college and I am a qualified basketball coach and personal trainer.

I have a knee injury which prevents me from working in the sports field and I am sick of retail, I wouldnt mind my own shop, but Im tired of workin my butt off for some fatcat to get rich.

I am currently unemployed and trying to figure out what to do, trouble is, its coming up on 12 months, my savings are running out and I am no closer to figuring out what to do with my life.

I have a dog, about a year old, I got her pretty much as I started my sebatical, so because I have been with her pretty much 24/7, she doesnt like being left alone and can be distructive when she is.

This is slightly limiting my opportunities.

I love the outdoors, sports, animal care, psychology, films and cars.

Id love for some people to give me a few suggestions that may help me start down the right path, because currently I stll have no clue what I want to do.

One thing Im sure of is I DO NOT want to go back to retail, or work for some fatcat company.

Any suggestions would be great, thanks people!
Im in Scotland, I forgot to mention that. So thanks for the Project Payday thing, but its not available here.

Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." But before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Answer #5

Upon getting into an elevator a passenger asked, "Is this lift going up?" "No, replied someone at the back, "We’re going to fool everyone this time and go sideways."

Answer #6

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. "Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!" The smart-ass at the back quickly raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."

I was in an at-fault car accident, im expecting around £100,000 worth of claims even though no one was hurt and three cars were barely scraped. Five people are claiming and the person in my car probably will too. Everyone is claiming through personal injuries such as whiplash, sore back, shock etc. Makes me mad, everyone was fine but most people jump at the chance to get any form of money. Just wondering, i’ve tried quotes and stuff but they all say i need to ring. I live in the UK and my insurance is £1500 now, any idea if i will be able to get insured at the renewal (nxt year). I wasn’t speeding or anything, it was just carelessness at a junction. Im 17 and have only been driving three weeks so im guessing im screwed. This sucks.

The last one is a worthy winner.

6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.

‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but sh
e

couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said.

The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab

And said to the driver,

‘Got stuck, eh?’

The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART AR*ED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand’.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 6

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The assistant replied,
"I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day, the policeman said.
The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.
"When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER… 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?
"The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John,
seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I
was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final
exam. "Now class,
I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other
excuses
whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised
his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is
reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.’What are my choices?’ the man asked.’Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.Without blinking an eyelid she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said. The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ‘Low Bridge Ahead.’ Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it…Cars are backed up for miles…Finally, a police car comes up…The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, ‘Got stuck, he?’The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s
final exam.’Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury,illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other
excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?’ The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her headand sweetly said, ‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your
other hand!’

SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I’m afraid not, they’re dead."

SMART ARSED ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I’ve been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.
The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSED ANSWER 2
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

SMART ARSED ANSWER 1
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam. "Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Top 6 Smartass Answers

SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?"

the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no,"

she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a

man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed

her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she

couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any

bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

down his window. "I’ve been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got

here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket.

SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck

under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his

car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck

driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final

exam. "Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it,

no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles

knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you’d have to write the

exam with your other hand